Kayla's LJay

Which they are trying to make mandatory for all health care workers.
I decided to ultimately take it now because if there is even a possibility that it can help reduce my getting very ill, I'm willing to take it. I also have a very shitty immune system (good times with mono, bell's palsey and many bronchitis episodes) so anything to help boost it I'm willing to try. Despite my joke on facebook about worrying about my future children having 3 arms, I'm not too concerned about side effects. It's a dead virus that they are injecting, not a live one, so we should be ok on that wavelength.

I have to say though, its been an hour since I got the shot, and my arm hurts like a son of a bitch. Like holy crap does it hurt. They say on the info sheet to expect a sore arm-more so than the regular flu shot, but that's a bit of an understatement. My arm ACHES. Now, I'm always a bit more reactive than normal people (because of the egg present in the vaccine. Wasn't until I was 18 that I could safely take the flu shot because of the way the eggs were cultivated), but its to the point that I am icing it and taking a tylenol.

I am happy though that I'm a health care worker. We (stupidly) only have 5 clinics in Calgary at the moment to vaccinate nearly 1 million people. According to the news, wait times are 6hours + and not expecting to dissipate for another 2 weeks or so. Health care worker? Went to the nearest hospital? 15 minute wait, and I'm done. Yay.

Truly glad I'm not riding today, as I don't think my arm would be up to it. Enrique was fantastic yesterday during my lesson. Were working on lengthenings. She had me do an excercise where you do a half circle at A or C, leg yield to the wall and then ask for a lengthening on the long side. Was hard for us. Enrique isn't as responsive laterally. He has to really think about where his body is going. But towards the end, I could really feel him cross under and then lift his shoulders up during the lengthening so that we weren't falling on the forehand. Finished the lesson by keeping him on a 20 meter circle and jumping over 2 caveletti on the circle, and he was super good.

I'm off to go ice my arm somemore!

Toodles!

Thanks for the support guys. I got some lovely messages and emails, and they mean a lot to me. It was also nice to know I'm not the only one that feels lonely and pathetic ;) And I also loved some of the stories I got about how men make the situation worse :P. To clarify though, it's not that I actually really WANT a boyfriend right now; I honest to God have no time, and I like the single life...I just wish the option was more open to me and actually WAS an option :\ But I'll work on it. Just like I know that I have to work on my trust issues and eventually put high school behind me ;)
Speaking of friends though, I have cleaned out my friend's list. If you can't see the entry below, chances are that I accidentally deleted you, so just let me know if that's the case.


I rode my big grey beast for the first time in 2.5 weeks. He was FANTASTIC. Uh, he felt so good. A little sticky at the canter to start with, but really using his back at the trot, keeping a good pace and listening. And SOUND. Did I mention SOUND?! I was so pleased with him.

But then he ruined it.

I untacked him, and was picking out his feet, and I guess I should have realized that he'd be protective of the back one where the abcess was. Because I picked it up, he pulled back and kicked out hard with it. Fortunately, he only glanced my shin. But after that moment, he kept on threatening to kick if I'd lift up the right hind. So we had a 20 minute come-to-jesus session where I told him that it wasn't at all appropriate to kick out at me no matter what the situation. I'm a little embarassed to admit that I was probably a little TOO hard on him :( But it pissed me off, I hurt, I was already angry, and well, he just got the brunt of it.
At the end of it all though, he held his leg perfectly and realized that he was wrong and I was right, and he got a carrot and all was forgiven. I do love horses. They don't tend to hold grudges all that much ;)

But, the little superstar, is, of course, Costa. She sat on him for the first time Tuesday, and yesterday, he went trotting around both directions without anyone leading. He was super good. Didn't try anything (his thing, if anything, will be to try to pull her out of the saddle, not buck or kick or anything like that) and his steering was actually pretty damn good-he seems quite responsive and willing, so I'm very pleased. It was so cute though, because he'd trot past me and let out a little whicker like "mom....hello? why is this happening?" and then let out a sigh as she made him trot past. Happened about 3-4 times, and my trainer was in stitches. The last time it happened, he let out a huge sigh almost to be like "mom, you are such an idiot. You just can't get good help these days." He's such a cutie :P
I'll see if I can take my camera down to get some pictures of him.

Haven't done one in a while, so I figured I'd do a brief update on how things are going.

School
Is dry. And part of me is questioning if its what I want to do with my life, but unfortunately, nothing else is really coming to mind. And really, as I sit in Family Law and Real Estate Law, I have a mantra going. I keep on repeating "do you want fries with that?" to remind myself that I could be in much worse straights if I don't get a decent career.

Money
Still broke. Yet ironically, I got another $10 000 increase on my credit card. Go figure. I think that its great to have credit - and it helps give you a good credit score - I have $30 000 worth of credit right now, but you also have to be able to pay the bloody shit off. I owe 10k right now, and I refuse to put more on any credit card until I at least get it back down to about 2k.

Horses
I'm actually on the fence right now about this. First of all, I feel that riding Enrique is better at the trot and canter. He's more forward. BUT he's also much more hot now and spooky then he's ever been. And where as before he'd have a tendency to curl (which was a pain to fix), now he has a tendency to want to try to go above the bit and look around with this "ZOMG. Trakehner-Posing-As-A-Deer look. So we're not consistent yet. I still feel as if he's a bit stuck in his back, and I cannot get a decent walk from him to save my life. I can kick and whip all I want, but he doesn't respond except to tighten his back and swish his tail. I also can't get an extended trot whatsoever. but trainer got on him for the first time in nearly 2 months and said that he felt great, and that my hands are far more consistent and hes rounding his back more and more. Go figure. She also got him forward from the very start-AND got an extended trot (although that doesn't appear to be his strong point), so what the hell? But, in more positive news, the osteopath took a look at him and was quite impressed. She was all like "Kayla, your horse finally has an ass!" (remember, when I bought him in April, he was 300lbs thinner and had ZERO muscle. And up until about September/October, I was fighting with him and his weight) BUT, more importantly, she showed me the pelvic tilts that checks the mobility of the pelvis and SI (what you do is with two hoodpicks, your run them down the side the back to the butt, and their back should lift. horses with poor SI joints or sore pelvises will actually cave in their stifles and sink down instead of lift up). She did them back in September with him and he had only about 15% mobility there-he was completely locked and would sink down and scoot away. This time though, he lifted his back and was able to hold it for a bit (invision a tummy tuck from the back) and she estimates his mobility at about 80-85% now...so it shows that I've actually been riding him correctly more and more.

Costa needs a job. He's a little shit. He needs to go into a field where one of the horses will teach him to stop thinking he's a prince. He goes in March 2nd, and I'm excited. He's still butt high at the moment, so I'm hoping that he'll finish off at about 16.3hh (he's 16.1hh right now and thick as a brick shit house)

Weight
In two weeks, I'm down 5lbs. But I haven't really been that consistent yet, nor have I been active in the gym so I know I can do MUCH better. I've decided to go back on Weight Watchers too, so hopefully that helps a little bit.

Random
I got contacted by a publisher who wants to reprint a couple of poems that I wrote back in grade 10/11...a damn good satire on Camelot, a ridiculous haiku and a rather emo poem about snow. They were published once before and I guess that they want to put them in a new book now. I'm not really expecting much money out of it - it seems to be just a compilation of random poems-but its nice to know that my poems are still out there.

I'm constantly asked why I don't consider writing for a living. Honestly, I considered it for a while. Especially when I won $8 000 because one of my stories was selected for "Incredible Story Studios" (anyone remember that show? On YTV? They filmed an episode based on my short story of "Rapunzel, Let Down Your Sable Hair") But the truth of the matter is that I don't have the imagination. I really admire those people who can come up with an idea that hasn't been done before, and devote the time and research into it. (like I personally think Dan Brown and Steve Berry are stunningly brilliant) I considered writing fantasy novels, but everything seems to have been done and done again. Ultimately, as my friends like to remind me, my niche would probably be romance ;) But seeing as how I don't want to gamble my livelihood on a good romance book, I think I'll stick to getting a career that gives me a steady paycheque ;)

Ok budget savvy people. I'm putting my accounting class to good use-and trying to figure out a budget that I can live with.

So, I make $21 an hour right now. Which if I were full time, would give me $3200 a month, and $38000 a year. It's not that liveable in this economy. Or well, its liveable if liveable means that I give up on horses entirely or decide to stay at home until I'm 30!
So I figure, for me to be ok living on my own, I need minimum $25 an hour. $25.00 an hour would give me $3800 a month and $45 000 a year.

So let's break this down.
$3800 a month. Let's assume that I see $3000 of it after taxes. (that's about right, right?)
Mortgage is $1300 a month.
That leaves me with $1700.
Horse is $600 (which includes board and some lessons)
Leaving me with $1100.
Utilities would probably be about $200
Gas would be about $200
Food (generous) would be about $200.
$200 in miscellaneous spending money
So that leaves with me $300 left over per month.

What am I missing? It's doable, right?


I'm really freaking out at the moment. Legal assistant salery is kinda over the map between $38k (which I make now) and 60k (oh, think. then I'd be really well off) But some places make it seem like the starting salery is EXACTLY what I'm making right now-if not a bit less, so it begs me to consider why the hell I'm wasting 2 year of my life (and 6k) to get a job that might just pay the same as what I'm getting now. If I were to move up in the Region, and become a Secretary 3, I've be getting $49 000 a year. But that's it-that's the ceiling cap. With legal assistant though, surely I'd have some opportunity for benefits or pay increase, yes? Please tell me yes.
I'm freaking out about my life here.

So I mentioned a while back ago that I got a raise, because of a contract negotiation within the Health Region.
I wasn't aware that in addition to that raise, I also get retroactive pay dating back from April of this year. This summer I worked a LOT-as in 6-7 days a week, so it all counts. I also found out that in addition to the retroactive pay, every employee that qualified for working more than 20hours a week gets a $500 retainer bonus.
So I get paid on Friday, and checked my pay advice online, and was shocked! In addition to my work shifts from these past 2 weeks, I get an additional $2100!
Haha, my saddle is officially paid for completely! And I have room for Christmas shopping!!!

Now, those of you that know me know that I consider school to be a joke. It's a means to an end and I gain absolutely no enjoyment from it whatsoever, which is sad, because I WISH I enjoyed school, but after 18 years in it, its not likely to happen now/ In fact, its a long standing point of humor in my family that while my degree took 4 years, I was probably at university a grand total of 4 MONTHS. I work better alone; where I can read books, make my own notes, and complete my own assignments when I want do. Sadly, though, the community college I am at now does not really allow for this much-you get attendence marks (which are like 0 for me!) and quite a few notes that aren't covered in books, which is quite unlike university. I am actually a fairly intelligent being, especially when it comes to computers and English, which has mainly been what this semester has been about, so if I averaged my 5/6 courses, my average would be an A-. But one course, a law course, ironically, is kicking my ass to kingdom come, and has given me a lovely D average, making my total average go down to a B. Partially, because, in the whole semester, I have been 3 times. The timing of the classes really suck. Class one is on a Tuesday from 4-6pm...which wouldn't be that bad, except I have a 3 hour break before that. So I never want to stick around, because, well, I can go to work and make money instead of sticking around and wasting time. Class 2 is Friday at 8am in the freaking morning, which would mean that I would have to get up at 5:30am to make it. Again, doesn't happen. So then I realized that I have a project due on Dec. 2nd that I have known about for the past month. Has anything been started? Absolutely not. Yay me.
But anyways, like many of you, my motivation really, really starts to depreciate come December. It's a chore to do anything-especially attend classes. And I'm sure the sadistic teachers know that, because instead of spacing out projects, everything is due within the last 2 weeks of class.

So, of course, riding is the first thing that goes out the window, followed by work hours. I have estimated that these next two weeks will cost me lost wages in the neighborhood of $750 and at least 4-5 rides on my horse. All so that I can write a pretty essay on civil litigation and do a test on Word Perfect (which, btw, is completely outdated. Those of you who don't use Microsoft Word should be ashamed!)